Defense

I would like to think of myself as a bit of a defender. If Ebene is in trouble I want to defend her. Seems that this is a socially unacceptable quality. I have a friend in particular that whenever I have outlined what I intend to do for Ebene given x situation has nothing but criticism. I would like to outline my best laid defensive plans in an attempt to justify myself.

Ebene, being a foreigner and receiving completely no support from her family has a tough time in Australia. The uni treats her badly, and now it seems work treats her badly. Australia has a scheme where Australian students can defer their uni payments in the form of an interest free loan. Non Australian students cannot do this. When Ebene came here her father agreed to pay her fees, but he has decided it is better to spend money on his current partner and her children rather than his own, and she receives no finances from her family, her mother supporting her siblings and being unable to. In the face of this, I have offered to take out a loan as I can being an Australian citizen to pay her fees as the uni, after advertising strenuously to bring foreign students in to study, is completely unconcerned about special circumstances and is now threatening to get immigration to cancel her visa unless the whole amount is paid quite soon. On both our incomes we can pay off sums each fortnight, but the uni does not care that was can pay the money slowly or that Ebene's family situation has changed for the worst out of her control. They only care about their money now. This particular university treated me the exact same way while I was there. I have had a few loan applications denied, but my current one seems to be progressing ok. We will both help pay off the debt and I will have a good credit rating for when we need a home loan.

No one seems to think my plan is a good idea. People seem to think I'm mad, that shes going to run off with the money and leave me. Those people don't know Ebene, and in any event if she did I would track her down :) Jokes aside I am very surprised and dismayed that people would not go to any and all lengths to protect their loved ones. I CAN do this, so why should I not? Would I be a smarter person to leave her to her problems and break up with her when she most likely has to leave the country? This option strikes me as very cold, but it seems to be the general consensus that this is the best option for me.

Failing the loan there is plan B. This entails explaining to the uni in a last ditch effort that we can pay the money slowly and ask them to look on Ebene's special circumstances. If they still want to be greedy, that is their chosen course of action. I would document Ebene's situation and how the university has treated her and write to every major newspaper, politician, special interest group etc, in an attempt to raise the profile of the issue and get the uni to agree to us paying off the debt as quickly as we can, which given Ebene's situation with her family, I do not feel it is reasonable. This tactic was suggested to me while I was overseas and had visa issues of my own because of the aforementioned university. Thankfully that situation resolved before such a step was necessary, but I am willing to take it in this instance if I need to.

Ebene is also facing trouble in her workplace. He has approached her boss about being underpaid for the work she does, she was hired for a financial planning/admin role to perform both jobs, but while she performs many finance roles that are not admin, her boss has chosen to class her job description as purely admin so he can pay her less. When asked about that, he said she should be grateful for having a job, presumably because she is a black foreigner and he is a benevolent white philanthropist who hired her when no one else would. I told her to do up her resume and look elsewhere, as far as I see it she can be grateful to other people for hiring her rather than ones that will try and emotionally bully her through guilt trips that are unfounded. Unfortunately there is little I can do in this instance apart from urge her to look for another job and assist with that.

In short I love my girlfriend and I want to protect her. Ask yourself if your loved one was in trouble what would you do, honestly what lengths would you go to, and should there be a limit for how far you would go?

I think not, but then my opinion carries little weight with anyone but Ebene.